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Life Advice from Ellie & Dutch

Q: I request urgent help. In the home where I reside, there’s a fearsome creature I believe to be called “The Kitty.” The Kitty is a menace and will often paw at my cage. I call for help, but it falls flat on the ears of the Humans, as though they cannot understand my cries. I know The Kitty will get to me soon if action isn’t taken. How can I protect myself? Signed, a terrified Hamster.


E: Hamster friend, do not fear! While I don’t know much about getting INTO a closed cage, I do know that getting OUT of one is an impossible task. Therefore, I think that it must also be impossible to get into a closed cage as well. So far as I know, only humans know the magics needed to unlock cage doors. So long as your humans love you, you should be safe from The Kitty.

D: Oh, posh! You rodents and your incessant worrying! Always, always, always, you jump straight to us cats wanting to harm you. How do you know The Kitty isn’t trying to be your friend? Mind you, hamster is quite the delicacy. But I would not worry as, like Ellie said, no cat I know has mastered how to open those small cages… yet.

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