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Marriage Today – How to Overcome Insecurity

Dear Friend,

All of us have insecurities, and we deal with them in our own ways, right or wrong. Forty years ago, Karen was very shy and insecure, and you could tell. When she felt insecure, she would cower like she was protecting herself from attack.

When I felt insecure, I’d shove my chest out and stare you down, acting as macho as possible. Both of us dealt with our insecurities differently.

Every individual feels insecure at times, and this can either be an opportunity for God or for the devil. The world tries to find security in money, power, popularity or appearance. But those are false securities. The only answer to our insecurities is a personal relationship with God.

Some people call Hebrews 11 “the faith chapter” or describe 1 Corinthians 13 as “the love chapter.” I like to refer to Psalm 91 as “the security chapter.” If you want to live in security, this is a great passage to read, memorize, and meditate upon.

The first verse says “Whoever dwells in the shelter of the Most High will rest in the shadow of the Almighty.” In other words, if you abide in Him, God will shelter you and make you secure.

“Dwelling in the shelter” means spending time in God’s presence through prayer. When you feel insecure, prayer is your security.

Karen and I eventually learned to take our insecurities to God through prayer. Here are three ways to be victorious over them:

1. Turn to God. Make Him your refuge and fortress, as the psalmist describes in Psalm 91:2. When Paul dealt with his “thorn in the flesh” (2 Cor. 12:7), he prayed to ask God to remove the source of his problem.

In reply, God told him “My grace is sufficient for you, because my power is made perfect in weakness” (2 Cor. 12: 9). That leads to the second step…

2. Embrace your weakness. When we are at our weakest, God’s power has even more impact in our lives. That’s what Paul discovered.

Does this mean we shouldn’t try to get better, or that we should accept every trial that enters our lives? No! But we should realize that we need God. When we admit our weaknesses and give them to God, He turns those insecurities into strength. Our confession of need leads to strength.

3. Put faith in God’s grace. This means we don’t have to deserve God’s strength. We don’t have to deserve anything. Grace is undeserved, and God told Paul His grace was enough. It is enough even when we are a total mess.

I love being a grandfather, even when my grandkids climb up in my lap with a horribly dirty diaper. Does that smell make me love them less? Not at all! My love for them has nothing to do with whether they are clean or not. My grandchildren are always welcome in my lap.

God is like that, too. Regardless of what we’ve done, we are welcome in His presence. God’s grace welcomes us. Then God’s love fixes us up and changes that dirty diaper.

If you’re human, you have insecurities. Give them to God. Hide in His fortress, and ask Him to transform your weaknesses into strength. He can…and He will.

Blessings,

 

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