When God created Adam, Genesis 2 says He “breathed into his nostrils the breath of life.” That’s when Adam became a living being. We translate it “breath” from the original Hebrew, but what the word really indicates is the spirit of life.
God wasn’t breathing oxygen into Adam’s nostrils, but the Holy Spirit.
Adam and Eve had a Spirit-filled relationship—exactly as God intended—until they sinned. That’s when the Spirit of God departed. Immediately their marriage fell, and three chapters later the world was full of violence and immorality. We need the Holy Spirit in our lives in order to sustain a healthy marriage.
You’ve heard countless stories of people who found themselves attracted to each other and got married, but then life happened. Stress and illness and pregnancy and financial problems happened.
And the terrific person they thought would love them forever suddenly says, “I don’t love you anymore” and leaves. Both went into marriage with high hopes, but they encountered failure. Why? Because people don’t have love.
The idea that people naturally have love in their hearts is a humanistic concept. But the truth is that we can’t love without God. When Adam and Eve sinned, love left when God left. They turned on each other.
1 John 4:7-8 describes it this way: “Beloved, let us love one another, for love is of God; and everyone who loves is born of God and knows God. He who does not love does not know God, for God is love.”
As human beings, we do not have the capacity to love. We are only able to love each other because, first of all, we are loved by God.
So when you’re looking for a person who will love you, what you’re really looking for is a person full of God. But if you think that a person without God can love you, you’re deceived. You’re setting yourself up for failure.
Galatians chapter 5 is a famous passage about the “fruit of the Spirit.” What Paul is really describing in this passage are the standards of God’s personality. In other words, this is how God acts.
The first part of the passage says “The fruit of the Spirit is love.” When God gives us the Holy Spirit, He fills us with love. The more dependent I am on the Holy Spirit, the more I admit my inability to love on my own and the fact that I need God. When I do this, I’m on track to a healthy, successful marriage.
When God breathes His Spirit into your relationship, it is prepared for success.
So when we are attracted to someone, and we start wondering whether our potential marriage will succeed, we shouldn’t be asking, “Is this person going to love me? Am I going to be disappointed?”
What we really should be asking is, “Has this person accepted Jesus Christ as Lord of their life? Does this person walk in a way dependent on the Spirit?”
When you marry a person who honors Christ and honors the Holy Spirit, you’re ready to be loved. When you don’t, you’re going to be disappointed. You’ll get your heart broken.
That may sound like bad news, but here’s the good news: The Holy Spirit is free. He will impart love to us at any point in our lives—no matter what we’ve done wrong, no matter how many times we’ve failed, no matter what kind of a person we are.
God wants to come into our lives, and when He does, it changes everything. If you’re not married yet, the Holy Spirit can prepare you for success. If you’re already married and you’ve failed, He can fix you. He can heal you.
The Holy Spirit is a gift, and all you have to do is ask Him to fill you and fill your marriage. When He does, your marriage will be filled with love.